A heart feels..

All of a sudden, I didn't know how it happened.
It just did.
I realised I've got my heart back.
Obviously, I meant it as a figure of speech. Without a heart, I wouldn't be typing this here.

I'm not sure if it's a good or a bad thing honestly.
I've lived over 10 years without a heart.
Not be able to feel, try not to give,
just keeping myself safe.

And now I'm just scared, weak and vulnerable. It's like looking at a piece of dary sky, clearing up, showing me another side that I've closed shut.

My first resurraction was back then when I wanted to be someone so generous and kind like him but then I realised I was wrong. He isn't who he seemed to be.
And a second time happened when I just about to find my heart,
it was left stone cold under the rain.

And now..
I didn't know when it returned. But I'm starting to feel kind again?
I am starting to FEEL SOMETHING again. Feel my heart beating, feel overwhelming emotions... Feel confused, feel sad, feel insecure...
A part of me hates this yet, another wants it to stay.
I... Don't know what I should do, really.